Goodbye 2014!

It’s December 31, the last day of 2014! I’m so excited that this year is over with. Sadly, it wasn’t all that great of a year.

I’m one of those people who LOVES change. So, I am quite excited to say goodbye to this year and see what I can accomplish in 2015.

In February, I finally decided to quit my job that I HATED! Every day I woke up dreading having to go to work. I dreaded having to deal with my boss. I just dreaded my life. I worked anywhere from 60-80 hours a week. Every day I went to work my boss made sure to tell me how shit of an employee I was. I started becoming depressed and started believing the things she was saying to me. That I was a terrible employee, that I would never go anywhere. I started thinking about the things I wanted to do and soon they became to seem that they’d never happen. I started thinking about how every person I went to school with was starting their careers and how everything I planned on doing wasn’t going to happen. I started comparing my life to their life.

So, on Valentine’s Day I told her I was leaving, that I was so tired of waking up and dreading my life. I was tired of being unhappy with myself . After 4 years of working for her and working anywhere from 60-80 hours a week, I never felt so happy and realized how INCREDIBLY miserable I was.

Although, my excitement was short lived. I started a new job right away working for an ex-coworker after he literally begged me to work for him. After 2 months of working for him, he started trying to find ways to get rid of me. He’d tell his boss I wasn’t doing this or that. I didn’t do something a certain way. He tried anything to get me wrote up. Again. I started dreading where I was working and I started actually slacking. I started showing up 15-20 minutes late. I never understood why someone would BEG for me to work for them, and then try and find ways to fire me. I’m still confused about it to this day. After MONTHS of him trying..he finally succeeded and in July, he got his way.

In August, I started working at my current job. It isn’t what I want to do for the rest of my life but, I can honestly say I wake up and actually enjoy having to go to work. I’ve never worked somewhere where people don’t tear me down.

day312_lowres1

After comparing my life to those I know and thinking about ALL the things that I had planned out for myself, I finally came to terms that MAYBE what I had plan to accomplish isn’t what I’m REALLY meant to do. At 25, I wanted to have a career and my own house. But, NONE of that has happened. Literally, every thing I planned to accomplish didn’t happen. But, that’s okay. There is something out there that I’m meant to do.

So, in 2015, I plan on bettering myself. I want to finally do things that make me happy. I spent 4 years of my life hating every waking moment. Dreading waking up. So this next year I want to make good memories. I want 2015 to be SO MUCH better than 2014. I want to better myself mentally, emotionally, and physically. I also want to start saving money. I’ll be 26 in March and hopefully by next year I want to be out on my own. I want to work on my confidence. I want to become healthier. I have lost 80lbs since ’08 but, I’ve hit a plateau. I haven’t lost or gained any weight since then. So, I’ve made a plan with my best friend to go to the gym 3-4 days a week or just go on walks. I also want to be more organized. I am complete and utter crap at organizing things. I also want to blog more. I have just started blogging again and it feels amazing to be able to write about things that I enjoy, or just get things off my chest whether anyone reads it or not.

But, my MAIN goal is to just LET GO. Let go of what I planned to do with my life when I was young. Let go of any sadness or anger. Let go and stop caring about what anyone thinks of me.

let it go

What are some of thing you wish to accomplish in 2015?

Advertisements